Milestone Moment Gifts

'I am so proud son: It was such an amazing first coak-a-doodle-do!'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

Pilot with champagne.

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

Woman crying with happiness.

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Pearly King and Queen

'Guess what? I won again.'

"Careful."

Do you think I'm sixty?

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Babies first words are 'Take me to your leader'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Jumping Man

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Aging Problems

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Attic of hopes and dreams...

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'