Milestone Achievement Gifts

Pilot with champagne.

Even you forgot my anniversary. Rudy Park, 20 years. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Really. Did everyone forget? Everyone! Not a card, not an email, not a singing telegram, not an instant message or tweet in Rudy's honor. Nothing telling us that this fine feature has: 1. Made America a better place, 2. Led to the dissolution of hatred and vice, 3. Had similar positive effects on you as a high-fiber diet. Uncle Mort, please don't get all mushy. I hate when my sweet little nephew is hurting. Come here a

211 days without an erectile dysfunction.

'He regurgitated his first slug today.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"Sign my yearbook?"

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

Pearly King and Queen

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Woman crying with happiness.

'Guess what? I won again.'

Babies first words are 'Take me to your leader'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

Jumping Man

Five Ideas For Success: Always finish what you. . .

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"It will scare away our competitors."

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

"She's my hero. Life gave her lemons and she came up with pomegranate cranberry lemonade."

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

Executive with desk-boxes 'get rich' and 'get even'.

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

Three office doors: 'Idea People,' 'Make It Happen People,' and 'Make it Like This Never Happened People.'

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"