Spiritual Milestone Gifts

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Good game."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"You've changed."

"We have an acronym!"

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Romance

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Couples' therapy

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"