Spiritual Milestone Gifts

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Good game."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Romance

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"We have an acronym!"

"You've changed."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Robots In The Boardroom

Couples' therapy

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"