Social Etiquette Learner Pillows

"I got my ticket for three dollars over the Internet. Are you going to eat that salmon?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"How about fashionably never?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

"How much do you tip your genie?"

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

Captain asking lady to dance

"Bob, remove the nuts from your cheeks before you start talking: I can't understand a word you say!"

Widow advising a man that men often owe their success to the beauty and social charm of their wife.

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

A guest departing a party.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

Servants - Cook and the Lady of the House

Conversation Topics and Guidelines Approved for this Area...

"OK, gotta go...hey, why is everyone at my table singing the Hallelujah chorus?"