Social Etiquette Student Pillows

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"How about fashionably never?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

"How much do you tip your genie?"

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"Remember, it could spoil the whole evening if you mention the smell of decomposing flesh coming from their basement."

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

Captain asking lady to dance

A guest departing a party.

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

Widow advising a man that men often owe their success to the beauty and social charm of their wife.

"I got my ticket for three dollars over the Internet. Are you going to eat that salmon?"

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

'No! To the left, the left!'

Servants - Cook and the Lady of the House

"Do we kiss these people?"