Social Etiquette Learner Gifts

"I got my ticket for three dollars over the Internet. Are you going to eat that salmon?"

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"How about fashionably never?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

"How much do you tip your genie?"

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

Widow advising a man that men often owe their success to the beauty and social charm of their wife.

A guest departing a party.

Captain asking lady to dance

"Remember, it could spoil the whole evening if you mention the smell of decomposing flesh coming from their basement."

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"Bob, remove the nuts from your cheeks before you start talking: I can't understand a word you say!"

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

Servants - Cook and the Lady of the House

'No! To the left, the left!'

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