Social Etiquette Aficionado Gifts

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

'On The Face Of It.'

Human Cull: People who don't thank you when you hold the door open for them.

'Stay for dinner? Are you sure? - We don't want to wear out our welcome.'

"Sorry, guys, can I just squeeze through?"

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

'Don't get up!'

"More?"

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

Let's shake on it.

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"Gesundheit!"

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'May I recommend the red wine?'

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"You can rejoin your party if you think you can refrain from slurping your soup! Got that?"

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

Man of refinement trying to teach a street salesman to say 'asparagus' rather than 'sparrow-grass'

'Is it okay to drink red wine in brown shoes?'

'Well, I for one do not believe common courtesy to the host demands deck shoes.'

"Bobby, you may have worked for a circus but that's not an excuse for playing with your food!"

'That's enough, thank you.'

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."