Social Etiquette Fanatic Gifts

Widow advising a man that men often owe their success to the beauty and social charm of their wife.

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'Don't get up!'

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

Let's shake on it.

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"Gesundheit!"

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

'May I recommend the red wine?'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

Traddles and I in conference with the Misses Spenlow

Man of refinement trying to teach a street salesman to say 'asparagus' rather than 'sparrow-grass'

"Bobby, you may have worked for a circus but that's not an excuse for playing with your food!"

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'

'That's enough, thank you.'

"To save everyone from suffering in polite restraint, I shall eat the last slice."

'Well, I for one do not believe common courtesy to the host demands deck shoes.'

'Seriously, Earl. It's just embarrassing!'

'Is it okay to drink red wine in brown shoes?'