Social Commentary Lovers Pillows

'Me? I made the mistake of arguing with success... and winning!'

"And this is our son, Ben, a child of exceptional intellectual depth and breadth on topics ranging from North Korea's nuclear program to the moral crisis of feminism."

A Gentleman is Harrased by Street Children.

'Help out a fellow non-conformist?'

'It's a dollar minimum, sir -- Union rules.'

'Our second quarter figures were in line with expectations.'

Crash test dummy unemployed begging.

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

The Cougher

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

Armageddon

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'Seesh...I'm really tired of how men are always depicted as clueless dolts!!...I didn't say it's inaccurate, just that I'm tired of seeing it...'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Noise Pollution

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"