Social Alternative Lover Gifts

"I'm skipping 'Happy Hour,' Carl—it's Friday night—zen tennis clinic at the shul."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

Punk Reindeer

REPENT! Get back to nature

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

The nurse of the future

"Down here, greed is totally unregulated."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

Randall shows his support of the tiny house movement...

Effective Catcalls

'Wow, they certainly know how to hide their poverty!'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"Oh, I'm sorry. That procedure isn't covered. Now, spin the wheel to see what you'll pay."

"That's Fred. He was raised by bats..."

Crusty Bread

"Would you be willing to participate in a brief survey following this transaction concerning customer satisfaction?"

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

Now Entering Urban America, Please Drive Around Chalk Outlines.

'I'm looking for a job where I get free concert tickets.'

"My new boyfriend is free range!"