Alternative Lifestyle Enthusiasts Gifts

'Help out a fellow non-conformist?'

"Believe me, everyone at the bank envies our simple lifestyle."

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

"I'm vegetarian now, the next time you kill something can you pick me up a salad?"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Vegetarian Birds

Punk Reindeer

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

The Mainstream

REPENT! Get back to nature

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"I beg to differ."

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

The Shy Nudist Camp.