Alternative Lifestyle Followers Gifts

Man with body piercings using WD40 as deodorant.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Vegetarian Birds

Punk Reindeer

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

The Mainstream

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

REPENT! Get back to nature

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

Free Range Golfers

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"I beg to differ."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

Naturist Beach - Nudity strictly enforced.

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

The Shy Nudist Camp.

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'