Soccer Parent Pillows

'Of course I bailed you out - you've got soccer tonight.'

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

'Wow. You are so lucky. My parents never go ballistic when I'm fouled and nothing is called.'

Had to run the kids to soccer. There's a can of microwave slop on the counter.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Baby Footballer

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

'And this one is for getting them to every one of their practice sessions in the 2008 season.'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'Get back to your seat, Mom. I can handle this.'

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'A couple of the other dads and I were thinking of starting up a fight club. . . you in?'

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

"I am standing up straight."

Another Rugby Star is Born.

Thank you for not smacking

"Dad and son playing with rugby ball. Son runs up to ball and kicks it. Ball hits dad in nose - nose starts bleeding."

It's nice they can all join in, isn't it? Yes! My kids wiping the floor with your kid!

"This is the fist time I've ever seen a tech support number of a soccer ball."