Sports Parent Pillows

Thank you for not flying into a rage and pummeling the ref!!

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Daddy's Hook

Baby Footballer

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

Expectant father with sports goods - "It's a girl."

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'A couple of the other dads and I were thinking of starting up a fight club. . . you in?'

"I am standing up straight."

Another Rugby Star is Born.

"Dad and son playing with rugby ball. Son runs up to ball and kicks it. Ball hits dad in nose - nose starts bleeding."

'You can't expect to win every interest he shares!'

"This is the fist time I've ever seen a tech support number of a soccer ball."

It's nice they can all join in, isn't it? Yes! My kids wiping the floor with your kid!

'I just felt it kick again, Charlie - I think he's going to be a football superstar!'

'Of course I bailed you out - you've got soccer tonight.'

Reading to your kid and checking the scores

Had to run the kids to soccer. There's a can of microwave slop on the counter.

'Grandma would love to hear about your home run, Ryan...right after the flop.'

"Remember, son, it's not about winning ... it's about not embarrassing me."