Parent Of An Athlete Pillows

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Baby Footballer

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home.'

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

Expectant father with sports goods - "It's a girl."

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

Dad Sox

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

'A couple of the other dads and I were thinking of starting up a fight club. . . you in?'

"I am standing up straight."

Another Rugby Star is Born.

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

"He needs more exercise. I recommend a team sport like hockey. He'd make a good goalie."

"Dad and son playing with rugby ball. Son runs up to ball and kicks it. Ball hits dad in nose - nose starts bleeding."

"This is the fist time I've ever seen a tech support number of a soccer ball."

It's nice they can all join in, isn't it? Yes! My kids wiping the floor with your kid!

'I just felt it kick again, Charlie - I think he's going to be a football superstar!'

Thank you for not flying into a rage and pummeling the ref!!

Reading to your kid and checking the scores

'I don't care how dirty they get on tv.'

'Grandma would love to hear about your home run, Ryan...right after the flop.'