Sports Parents Pillows

"I am standing up straight."

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'We just figured that with the kids travelling so much for soccer, it made more sense to sell our house and get an RV.'

Baby Footballer

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

Daddy's Hook

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

Apparently Barking Rovers have won the cup.

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

Expectant father with sports goods - "It's a girl."

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

It's just a bad bruise. Field hockey balls can do damage. We'll have the doctor take a quick look. Quick?! It's rush hour! We're moving fine. Just wait. It's the 4:45 pm fall sports traffic jam. Next # 147. The doctors are: In out in in.

'I think Kenny's finally accepted fatherhood - he said he was off to play football with the kids.'

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'A couple of the other dads and I were thinking of starting up a fight club. . . you in?'

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

Another Rugby Star is Born.

I hope you brought enough beer boxes for all the dads.

"Dad and son playing with rugby ball. Son runs up to ball and kicks it. Ball hits dad in nose - nose starts bleeding."

I hope you brought enough beer boxes for all the dads.

'You can't expect to win every interest he shares!'

It's nice they can all join in, isn't it? Yes! My kids wiping the floor with your kid!

'Lassie, come home!!'

"This is the fist time I've ever seen a tech support number of a soccer ball."

Dedicated soccer moms Gail and Linda were determined to give their unborn children a jump on the competition.

Thank you for not flying into a rage and pummeling the ref!!