Soapbox Champion Gifts

Want to hear some preaching?

'Play it again, Sam.'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

"Today we're going to talk about brainless reality TV."

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

'And the gold medal goes to...'

Chill Out ZoneShell Out Zone.

"All I said was, do we have to watch your telenovela tonight."

Children Who Have Given Up Soap For Lent

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

'Listen, I know that nose was what made me famous, but it also led to me being typecast. I'm hoping this change helps me get more diverse roles.'

"We ask for volunteers to pick up litter and chewing gum. We sell bombs to other countries. Who mops up the blood? Tell me that!"

'...and so I say without fear of contradiction...'

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

'I'm taking you off the javelin - you throw it way too high!'

The Pole Jumper.

Slippery soap while washing your hands

'They should be nice and clean -- my mother washes my mouth out with soap every @#$%@#$ day!'

Soap Box

"Have you washed your hands..?"

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

"I think I know what happened to that missing bar of soap, Gerald."

"What? You got something funny to say?"

'Is that true? - Did you tape over her soap opera?'

"Sales of banana flavoured reindeer soap are dreadful...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what Christmas is all about!"

"Big deal! You're still all bums to me."