Soapbox Champion Pillows

Want to hear some preaching?

'Play it again, Sam.'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

Man with piano in bath - "It's not the singing I'm complaining about."

"Today we're going to talk about brainless reality TV."

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

Eastenders: This Programme Contains Bad Acting And One-Dimensional Characterisation

'And the gold medal goes to...'

"All I said was, do we have to watch your telenovela tonight."

Chill Out ZoneShell Out Zone.

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

Children Who Have Given Up Soap For Lent

'Listen, I know that nose was what made me famous, but it also led to me being typecast. I'm hoping this change helps me get more diverse roles.'

"We ask for volunteers to pick up litter and chewing gum. We sell bombs to other countries. Who mops up the blood? Tell me that!"

"There he goes, filling their heads with ludicrous conspiracy theories about microchip implants and mass sterilisation programmes…"

"Why do you keep saying MY pride is going to get the best of me?"

'...and so I say without fear of contradiction...'

The Pole Jumper.

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

Slippery soap while washing your hands

'I'm taking you off the javelin - you throw it way too high!'

'They should be nice and clean -- my mother washes my mouth out with soap every @#$%@#$ day!'

Soap Box

"What? You got something funny to say?"

"Have you washed your hands..?"

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

"Sales of banana flavoured reindeer soap are dreadful...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what Christmas is all about!"

"I think I know what happened to that missing bar of soap, Gerald."

'Is that true? - Did you tape over her soap opera?'