Soapbox Speaker Pillows

Senator Richard Burr

"I hate it when Ed talks politics at parties."

"We ask for volunteers to pick up litter and chewing gum. We sell bombs to other countries. Who mops up the blood? Tell me that!"

They hated me.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

'And in conclusion.'

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"Today we're going to talk about brainless reality TV."

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

Boxing with your harp

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

Geography is still fascinating, thought Bob.

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

Woman standing behind boss with sign saying 'Applause'.

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

'...and so I say without fear of contradiction...'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

House leadership 'cry'-teria

"What a pleasure it is to be here. . . looking out on all the smiling faces."

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

I speak for all MPs, Mr Speaker, when I say 'swift recovery from your laryngitis'.

"He's eating the soap, even as we speak."

Slippery soap while washing your hands