Soap Savant Gifts

"Have you washed your hands..?"

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Holiday Gifts 2020

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'You're new here, aren't you?'

'Not whale stew again.'

"House red, sir?"

Make Your Own Alphabet Soup Starter Kit

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

"Teeth cleaned. No questions asked."

'I think it needs more punctuation.'

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

The temporary home of the international hall of brine.

Life's choices (Tampons and Chocolate).

'Try new 'Letter-Rip!' It's alphabet soup AND a laxative! Guaranteed to give you a vowel movement!'

'Blast it's raining!'

'Alright! Alright! So I made a mistake!'

"The groomer used too much product."

"Guilty! The broth was awful!"

'I figured this would make great soup - I got it from a hunter this morning!'

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

Hygiene in food processing

The apes make advances in grooming techniques.

A pipping hot chicken + vege broth. . . or as we now call it, a bowl of cold water.

'They should be nice and clean -- my mother washes my mouth out with soap every @#$%@#$ day!'

Alphabet soup - Large print edition.