Soap Making Gifts

Bar of Soap

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

'Cooking'

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

Soap Opera

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."

"All I said was, do we have to watch your telenovela tonight."

Grooming for beginners.

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

Celebrity anagrams: Drab Ian's bar row (Answer: Barbara Windsor.)

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

"Caution! This tomato soup combined with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas."