Soap Making Gifts

Bar of Soap

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

University Soapflakes

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

'Cooking'

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"You're never too old to learn..."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

Soap Opera

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! I just found out "Empire" and "Star" are in the same universe. For months I've been telling everyone I knew that "Star" was a blatant ripoff of "Empire." But then I found out they're made by the same people and they're in the same tv universe, and I'm like totally fine with it now. Stop it! We speak "English" on this show, not "tv addict"! Wait a minute ... are we talking about soap operas? Because there's an exception for soap operas. No, we

Grooming for beginners.

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

Eastenders: This Programme Contains Bad Acting And One-Dimensional Characterisation

"All I said was, do we have to watch your telenovela tonight."

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

Celebrity anagrams: Drab Ian's bar row (Answer: Barbara Windsor.)

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'