Soap Aficionado Gifts

'I've changed my mind about becoming a doctor. . . you have to wash your hands too often!'

"Anymore of that and I'll wash your mouth out with hand made inner harmony cool blue soap"

Practice Bug Control this Season.

'Let me introduce the new wonder commodity, called soap.'

Do you understand why I'm upset with you? It's not because you mixed up the hand soap and the body wash. It's because you're not paying attention to me and the details in my life. What do you say to that? Thank you for your comments. I'd like to refer my response to counsel. What? Let me confer privately with my client.

Grooming for beginners.

"I've washed my hands so much, I have 'dishwater hands'!"

"Hello. . . Police? We've been burgled! The bastards have taken all of our soap, hand sanitiser and toilet rolls!"

'Einsteiners.'

University Soapflakes

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

Daytime TV For Nerds

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

June Brown

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'