Soap Suds Artist Gifts

Dog Bath.

Tension filled the tent.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Holiday Gifts 2020

Baker

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

'But our secret ingredient is large quantities of Hilberg beer.'

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

'This is gonna be one hellava toffee sticky pudding!'

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

'... and here's your Manhattan clam chowder, Sir.'

Grooming for beginners.

'Blast it's raining!'

The best baker in Bath!

"Can I draw you a bath sir?"

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Statue of 'Mom' next to a statue of 'Apple Pie'.

"Can't you do something with that besides caramelize your creme brulee?"

Practice Bug Control this Season.

'The doofus has gone and hanged himself again. . .'

'And I don't want you hanging around with that scum from the bathtub!'

"Hey, everyone! This thing is made out of soap!"

"He's eating the soap, even as we speak."

"Remember when we were young and soap names didn't sound like a product you'd like to eat?"

"Oh, darn. I grabbed the wrong Dove bar again."

Slippery soap while washing your hands

"You have no idea what I've been through."

Do you understand why I'm upset with you? It's not because you mixed up the hand soap and the body wash. It's because you're not paying attention to me and the details in my life. What do you say to that? Thank you for your comments. I'd like to refer my response to counsel. What? Let me confer privately with my client.

'Is that true? - Did you tape over her soap opera?'