Soap Gifts

Miscommunication

'Apricot Quince? Baked Apple? Wild Huckleberry? If they had these soaps when I was a kid I wouldn't have minded having my mouth washed out.'

Slippery soap while washing your hands

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

Soap Opera

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

'I can't believe it's not butter!'

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

Grooming for beginners.

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

Children Who Have Given Up Soap For Lent

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

"All I said was, do we have to watch your telenovela tonight."