Soap Gifts

Miscommunication

'Apricot Quince? Baked Apple? Wild Huckleberry? If they had these soaps when I was a kid I wouldn't have minded having my mouth washed out.'

Slippery soap while washing your hands

University Soapflakes

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"You're never too old to learn..."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. Today: Alphabet Soup. The little green pieces? --- That's Ernie's idea. It's Q-cumber.

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

Soap Opera

Frank and Ernie's Diner. I'll have the beef and tomato consomme from Santiago. Coming up one chilly Chile Chili!

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

'Can't you read?!'

'I can't believe it's not butter!'

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

Diner. Menu. You overcooked the alphabet soup. The letters aren't holding their shape. We'll just say it's "cursive style"!

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

I think the alphabet soup expired.

"All I said was, do we have to watch your telenovela tonight."

Eastenders: This Programme Contains Bad Acting And One-Dimensional Characterisation