Soap Collectors Gifts

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

'He got a hole in one today.'

'I'm looking for a toothpaste that combats Tokyo, Kansas city and Suburban Portland along the gum line.'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

"I'm trying to make them look less scary."

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"Look, Gwen!...Beak warmers!"

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

'This is where I keep my gum.'

"I said more sex, Barry, more SEX!"

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

'I'm a jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'

"He's taken responsibility for all the missing socks from the last 50 years."

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

"You might consider new socks as well."