Snowy Garden Gourmet Gifts

"The food here is great, but the service is a little slow."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Queen of Quinoa

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

The Origins of Everything

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

The Perfect Garden.

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

'Now watch and listen!'

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'