Snow Gourmet Gifts

'I hope you like it -- it's slush-kabob.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Queen of Quinoa

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

Keith Floyd.

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

Stand back - while I whip something up

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'Haven't you heard that hypernutrition in the first years can lead to obesity in later life.'

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

'Now watch and listen!'

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

'WIll that be with or without methane, sir?'

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

Pizza Fencing

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

Cow puts salad dressing on grass.

'Mushy peas? And would you like your cod and chips likewise, sir?

'I would go with salmon on this one.'

'These are Trans-Fat free, right?'

Life of Riley #3: '...The food is always excellent.'

'WHAT??! 3.695.897 euro for the pizza delivery service??!'

"I can see this prepared as quenelles de maquereau with a nice rémoulade and some herbed zucchini spirals."

A man with the world on his mind inspects the world

"Look, salsa! This explains why the captain brought tortilla chips."