Snow Strategists Gifts

Quiz: Name the plan local authorities have for ridding streets of snow. . . Answer: Spring.

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'Every time we clear all the snow another blizzard hits. We're cursed men Frank. Cursed!'

'I'll take ten, please.'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'Removal sounds politically incorrect.'

'War is heck!'

"Remember you making fun of me for using a litter box? Well, good luck going outside now that it's freezing out."

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

SNOW WARS: The fight-back

With the Latest Snow and Frigid Cold Things to Consider . . .

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

"But heat rises, so it's cold down here."

Woman tries to pray for the rain to end.

What can I say - Global warming enriches my life!

"Too bad leaves can't replace salt for the roads each winter. It would save us a ton of money."

"It's a bit derivative."

'I tell you, the gas shortage story in the seventies was good, but this greenhouse think is pure genius!'

Escape plans at a snow cone farm.

Health food - salt substitute

"Whoa! You must have eight rugs on! How's that feel? Are you warm enough?"

Man snow blowing dog toys in winter

Winter shopping

"How about all my desserts for a week, and I take out the garbage?"

"Your snow fort may be bigger, but mine comes with all the technology of a smart home."

Where's your dad's car? Under this snow bank.

"No, you come in on four."

'So, you see... Global warming is why it snows!'

"The shovel's just a prop. I contract out the actual snow removal."

"It's going to be a long hard winter!"

'Find your car for a dollar, sir?'

'It's snowing, Edna. Call the office and tell them I can't make it in.'