Snow Strategists Gifts

Quiz: Name the plan local authorities have for ridding streets of snow. . . Answer: Spring.

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'Every time we clear all the snow another blizzard hits. We're cursed men Frank. Cursed!'

'I'll take ten, please.'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

'Don't drop that snow globe, they'll close the airport.'

The Puck Stops Here.

'Removal sounds politically incorrect.'

"Remember you making fun of me for using a litter box? Well, good luck going outside now that it's freezing out."

'War is heck!'

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

With the Latest Snow and Frigid Cold Things to Consider . . .

SNOW WARS: The fight-back

"But heat rises, so it's cold down here."

What can I say - Global warming enriches my life!

Woman tries to pray for the rain to end.

"Too bad leaves can't replace salt for the roads each winter. It would save us a ton of money."

"It's a bit derivative."

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

'I tell you, the gas shortage story in the seventies was good, but this greenhouse think is pure genius!'

'So, you see... Global warming is why it snows!'

Health food - salt substitute

Man snow blowing dog toys in winter

"Whoa! You must have eight rugs on! How's that feel? Are you warm enough?"

Winter shopping

"How about all my desserts for a week, and I take out the garbage?"

Where's your dad's car? Under this snow bank.

"Your snow fort may be bigger, but mine comes with all the technology of a smart home."

"No, you come in on four."

Escape plans at a snow cone farm.

"The shovel's just a prop. I contract out the actual snow removal."

"It's going to be a long hard winter!"

'Find your car for a dollar, sir?'