Snow Cone Connoisseur Gifts

The world's greatest salesman.

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Cake Free Zone

His Her Cakes

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

Dog Walker

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"That's part of my Quality Control Program."

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

Shaved Ice

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Prenuptial Wedding Cake

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

"Blessed are they who blow out birthday cakes candles, for they shall be de-lighted."

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

'You should have ordered one. This is the only one left in the shop!'

"Mini-cupcakes never solved anything."

A shrink charges $200 an hour, but double chocolate layer cake is only $19.95.

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."