Connoisseur Of Cones Gifts

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Haute Suture

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

The Alpha Seltzer

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Baking

Law School teacher.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"You're never home."

Dog Walker

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Shaved Ice

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

"Can you keep a secret?"

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

Fig 1. Fig 2. Fig Newton.

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"This is their 'Working Mother of Four' coffee special. They must know what I go through."