Snow Babysitter Gifts

"That's the trouble with the nursery slopes, crowded with ski-ing nannies!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

The Baby Walker

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Coping with a strong-willed child

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"I'm bored."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Happy Hour

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

Baby Hairstyles.

"No es problema para mi si no es problema para ti."

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

A baby playing on a grand piano

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.