Snorkeling Comedian Gifts

'Well, this is embarrassing.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

Guide fish.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Shark food pyramid.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

Another hot flash?

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"You can find me on Inkedin."

'We're drifting apart.'

Shark Chum

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Fish Farm.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.