Snob Alert Gifts

"Since Rover became a therapy dog, he's gotten uppity."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'New money or old money?'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

'He's a mixed breed.'

"I keep asking you for ideas, Hibblemeyer, and you keep drawing blanks."

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

" ..graduated with honours, great job, beautiful wife, great kids.. Sure we've all got a sad story to tell."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

"He drinks from the cup of a different brewer."

"I've taken a vow of chastity with guys living in poverty."

Six Degrees of Depradation

"The city life isn't for everyone, so my second house is in the Hamptons."

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

'Black dots indicate actual creative involvement.'