Snl Fan Gifts

'Debates are great, but what really makes or breaks a candidate is an appearance on 'Saturday Night Live''.

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

"When I was a teenager 'Saturday Night Live' had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman..."

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

The devil you know and his plus one

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"I said to get a Tomcat, not a wombat!"

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

Monster Baseball

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

Date Night

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

Ghosts and Aliens in Bath

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"What a way to go."

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

Beer/Wine/Spirits.

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

'Well you'll be late for school again, Jimmy... and for the last time that is not toilet paper!'