Sneaker Stylist Gifts

'If velcro is good enough fro grandma and grandpa, why do I have to learn to tie my laces?'

Great British Eccentrics.

Robot Jogger

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

You shouldn't sell any chemical lawn products, dad! I only carry a few for the bottom line. You peddle poison for profits? The new sneakers you want aren't cheap, kiddo. Then I won't get the shoes. Ok, ok. I'll consider getting rid of the chemicals. Who knew reducing my carbon footprint meant going without shoes.

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

Snake Dress-Up

'Yes, but it was a glass ballet flat that I lost.'

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

Cat walking dog.

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"Wingtips--this is a white collar gang."

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

'You've been hanging out at the bowling alley again, haven't you?'

"No you don't young man....Those shoes cost me 4125.000, there's no way you're wearing them outdoors!"

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

"Psst. . . fancy shoe sales are down. Can you make Crocs instead?"

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

Can I help you? I need some sneakers. Sale. Okay. We've got ones for running, jogging, walking, basketball, tennis, pickleball, hiking, cross-training, golf, bowling, volleyball, squash, badminton, jumproping, racquetball, skateboarding, climbing. What activity best describes your needs? What do you think, Ernie? Was "ottomanning" a choice?

Patent Office. A credit card chip embedded in sneakers? How would you make a purchase? Swipe your feet!

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

"Of course, ladies and gentlemen, the optimum endorsement would be from the Crips and the Bloods."

Boot Wishes it was Trainer.

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'

'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'