Snarky Sitcom Reviewer Gifts

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

Art Gallery.

"No, the guy who had this job before me didn't retire - he escaped."

Down with canned laughter.

Great literary festival heckles.

"Yes, your work does speak to me and it's telling me you can't paint."

"Every few years, Gordon and the TV get a couple of inches wider."

"...now it's time for a round up of our national sports - soccer, cricket, and knocking the BBC...."

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

Father and son watching a TV sitcom

"I own 60% of your image rights. Which means you have to pay me ten quid every time you look in the mirror."

Theatrical agent, "Quite honestly Frank I think you've turned into a poor caricature of yourself"

Puppet Audience

Bob Crane - Spot the Difference

"The voice pattern is similar to Dad's."

"I warned you, Silvia, all 8 foot lizard creatures are the same."

Peace inactivist

"You're doing it wrong."

I've started so I'll finish...

HONEY! I TOLD YOU THAT GRUMPY WERE GETTING SICK OF ALL THOSE POLITICAL COMMERCIALS!

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"

"I need to talk to you about your unacceptable viewing history. I mean, Michael McIntyre!?!"

"Do you guys know how lucky you are to have a big house that's not too big?"

Snarcalounger

"Take my advice, drop the name Rolf Savile."

"There's a lot of back stabbing going on in this company."

Interactive TV: 'I'm in here, watching the idiot box!' 'We interrupt this program to ask, 'What's that make you'!?