Tv Critic Satirist Gifts

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Can't Touch This

'What does it say, Dad?'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

How I met your mother

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

"Can you hear me now?"

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

Silly News.