Snarky Critic Pillows

"Yes, your work does speak to me and it's telling me you can't paint."

"There's a lot of back stabbing going on in this company."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'My dentist recommended it.'

"Can you hear me now?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Mom's Mortuary

Art Gallery.

Plug: ' OHHH, Baby Baby.'

"Any family history of stroke? Diabetes? Bankruptcy?"

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

'This is what we call a 'patient'...you MAY find some reference to one of them on page 435 of your manual.'

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"No, the guy who had this job before me didn't retire - he escaped."

"I usually vote for whoever promises to cut the most tax."

'I always vote for the candidate I think will do the least damage.'

"Every few years, Gordon and the TV get a couple of inches wider."

Stopping Coronavirus

'You are accused of internet fraud. How do you wish to blog?'

"If the stock market fluctuates due to the emotions of mostly men, isn't there some kind of hormonal therapy available to level those out for them?"

"...now it's time for a round up of our national sports - soccer, cricket, and knocking the BBC...."

'No.32...congratulations: your pay is frozen. No.38...well done: you're on short term working. No.14...'

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"Help!"

"As a politician I talk meaningless stuff all day long, nobody has noticed in years that I don't have a clue, and I get paid a lot of money for it. Basically I'm also an artist."

'They always off the mom.'

"I warned you, Silvia, all 8 foot lizard creatures are the same."

Things are looking up!