Snarky Commentator Pillows

"Do you guys know how lucky you are to have a big house that's not too big?"

"No, the guy who had this job before me didn't retire - he escaped."

"I warned you, Silvia, all 8 foot lizard creatures are the same."

Art Gallery.

'Which one of your friends do you hate the most?'

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

Expressions of mystery.

"Can you hear me now?"

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I like it.'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

Do you believe in money at first sight?

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

People want as much government as they deserve.

"Any family history of stroke? Diabetes? Bankruptcy?"

"Don't look at me. I'm just the gay friend."

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"Hey, if we're getting laid off, it's every man for himself!"

'This is what we call a 'patient'...you MAY find some reference to one of them on page 435 of your manual.'

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'