Humorous Critic Pillows

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Amateurs."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Non Thought For The Day.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

Art Critics.

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

'I'm sorry, you just missed him. Call back in from 5 to 10 years.'

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Rodin's Irish Judge

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."