Humor Critic Pillows

"No, I don't think your new wig makes you look ugly."

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

"This is a sad week. My favorite comic strip is ending."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Amateurs."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Non Thought For The Day.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

Art Critics.

Rodin's Irish Judge

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'I'm sorry, you just missed him. Call back in from 5 to 10 years.'

Unnatural Selection.

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"