Humor Critic Gifts

"No, I don't think your new wig makes you look ugly."

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

"This is a sad week. My favorite comic strip is ending."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Amateurs."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Non Thought For The Day.

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

A skip full of fools.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'Cohiba is written on here with a Sharpie.'

Art Critics.

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

Unnatural Selection.