Smoothly Simmering Gifts

'You haven't had a decent meal in weeks? I know exactly how you feel.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Bryan Ferry

Vegetable Cook

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"No, I don't still think about him - I'm with YOU now."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

Banana Smoothie

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

The Language of Love

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

Tortoise and the Hare

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

'I couldn't afford flowers, but I got a really good deal on Kenny G.'

I'm a long order cook.

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Fruit Smoothie

Playing in a stream.

You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?

"Other than leaving the lid off the blender, I think my first smoothie went rather well!"

'I don't 'do' chewing!'

Barista

'Ooh! I;ll have Leslie Phillips, please dear.'

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

The world is running out of water. The world is running out of water.

'Ok, I came up with a new name for my invention. Now it's called the cyclone cylinder!'