Seasoned Simmers Gifts

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

"I'll have the usual."

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Anton's Bar and Grill

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Lemonade without borders.

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

"Are the hot dogs the burned ones or the really burned ones?"

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

'Anyone else seeing a pattern here?'

Minnesota Weather.

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

Holiday Overkill.

Getting ready for spring

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

New for Fall

Large man uses 'Fat Nav' to lead him to large Christmas pudding.

'Is it labor day already?'

'I will make an appointment to visit with a financial planner, dear--right after I get done taking down the Christmas lights.'

Winter. I'm starting to think it's not coming at all.

Lemonade - Passwords.

"So, you're claiming 32 million gifts as a legitimate business expense."