Steamy Story Lover Gifts

the romance novel

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"What did Jesus order?"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'What does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?'

Fairy tale

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"