Steamy Literature Lover Gifts

50 Shades of Clay.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Meet The Author"

Thomas Mann.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

The DaVinci Code

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Victor Hugo

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Television Readers.

Voltaire

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Blue Stockings

Jean-Paul Sartre

'He likes to power nap.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.