Smoothie Lover Gifts

Fruit Mart: Closing down, going into liquidiser.

'A zero-calorie, low-carb, antioxidant-rich forbidden fruit smoothie? Tempting!'

"Apple Smoothie?"

"The end is near."

'No whey, Jose!'

The textural omnivore.

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Banana Smoothie

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"There are vast oceans existing under the icy surface of Jupiter's moon Europa." "It's possible there's as much life in those oceans as there is in our own. Maybe more." "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "I'm thinking 'sexy mermaids,' you?" "Sushi bonanza!!!"

Oh you smoothie

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

"Anyone know how to prepare sushi?"

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

'It's a taste I think I can say I've acquired.'

Motor-blender.

"More cake?"

Sea temperatures hottest on record

Sushi for two, please.

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

Woman opens sushi box.

'He's going to need more bourbon.'

'Eric the white horse' was fed up being associated with whiskey...so he decided to try beer instead!