Smoothie Lover Gifts

Fruit Mart: Closing down, going into liquidiser.

'A zero-calorie, low-carb, antioxidant-rich forbidden fruit smoothie? Tempting!'

"Apple Smoothie?"

"The end is near."

You can't believe how many ants it takes to make a smoothie, but it's SO worth it.

Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head? I'm glad you (huff) asked. Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death. So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills. Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill? They walk. ... Walk.

Dang, girl, you should have a Caution: Contents may be hot label. Great. A smoothie.

'No whey, Jose!'

The textural omnivore.

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

Banana Smoothie

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"There are vast oceans existing under the icy surface of Jupiter's moon Europa." "It's possible there's as much life in those oceans as there is in our own. Maybe more." "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "I'm thinking 'sexy mermaids,' you?" "Sushi bonanza!!!"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Hot dogs. Sushi.

Oh you smoothie

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

Sushi for two, please.

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

Sea temperatures hottest on record

Motor-blender.

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

'It's a taste I think I can say I've acquired.'

"Anyone know how to prepare sushi?"

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

"More cake?"

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."