Smoothie Savant Gifts

That's your third smoothie. Why such a big fan? I come from a blended family.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Banana Smoothie

Oh you smoothie

Sandwich snob.

'Not whale stew again.'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

"More cake?"

Motor-blender.

Make Your Own Alphabet Soup Starter Kit

Everything Smoothie

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'I think it needs more punctuation.'

'My old friend here, Hiro, is opening a chain of sushi bars exclusively for lawyers. It's called Sosumi.'

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"Teeth cleaned. No questions asked."

Fruit Smoothie

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

"Other than leaving the lid off the blender, I think my first smoothie went rather well!"

'Try new 'Letter-Rip!' It's alphabet soup AND a laxative! Guaranteed to give you a vowel movement!'

'I don't 'do' chewing!'

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

'No whey, Jose!'