Smoothie Admirer Gifts

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'She gets so excited for the dumbest reasons.'

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Banana Smoothie

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Oh you smoothie

"Do you know what kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees."

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

Motor-blender.

Take me to your lactator!

The Magic Float

"More cake?"

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

Dog with Flowers and Chocolates.

Baby drinking competition

'I used to have women lined up. Married, unmarried - it didn't matter. Ah, forget it. Another round. Skim.'

Fruit Smoothie

"Other than leaving the lid off the blender, I think my first smoothie went rather well!"

'I don't 'do' chewing!'

"Two per cent."

'Skim milk.'

COWS: Cow Blackmail

'No whey, Jose!'

"You are what you eat. . . and I plan to be very sweet to you later."