Smooth Talkers T-Shirts

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

Detox meets Botox.

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

Bryan Ferry

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

The Language of Love

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

He took every chance to practice his talk.

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

"You look so beautiful. Twinkling in the moonlight."

Small Talk Therapy

J. Ludlow: Soldier, Statesman, Author, Windbag.

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

"I prefer to think of it as travel size."

"You say the nicest things. . . and perfectly sober as well."

"Compliments of the gentleman who obviously has no issues with rejection."

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."

'I forgot who I'm supposed to talk to and why.'

"Let's hope his sale pitches are better than his passes."

'Expensive wine, long-stem roses, imported candies...wasn't our argument about MY spending habits?'